{"id":3694,"date":"2022-10-30T10:25:08","date_gmt":"2022-10-30T10:25:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.steflenk.com\/wordpress\/?p=3694"},"modified":"2023-07-28T13:25:00","modified_gmt":"2023-07-28T12:25:00","slug":"taboo-symposium-9-self-esteem","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.steflenk.com\/wordpress\/taboo-symposium-9-self-esteem\/","title":{"rendered":"taboo symposium 9 | self-esteem"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"3694\" class=\"elementor elementor-3694\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-f388622 elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"f388622\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-1f1821e\" data-id=\"1f1821e\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6e85829 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"6e85829\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.19.0 - 07-02-2024 *\/\n.elementor-widget-image{text-align:center}.elementor-widget-image a{display:inline-block}.elementor-widget-image a img[src$=\".svg\"]{width:48px}.elementor-widget-image img{vertical-align:middle;display:inline-block}<\/style>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/www.meetup.com\/taboosymposium\/events\/288709816\/\" target=\"_blank\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1139\" height=\"433\" src=\"https:\/\/www.steflenk.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/TABOO_BANNERS_selfEsteem_FB.jpg\" class=\"attachment-full size-full wp-image-3697\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.steflenk.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/TABOO_BANNERS_selfEsteem_FB.jpg 1139w, https:\/\/www.steflenk.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/TABOO_BANNERS_selfEsteem_FB-300x114.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.steflenk.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/TABOO_BANNERS_selfEsteem_FB-1024x389.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.steflenk.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/TABOO_BANNERS_selfEsteem_FB-768x292.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1139px) 100vw, 1139px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-0e9f962 elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"0e9f962\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-f826a31\" data-id=\"f826a31\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b3a5507 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"b3a5507\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.19.0 - 07-02-2024 *\/\n.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-stacked .elementor-drop-cap{background-color:#69727d;color:#fff}.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-framed .elementor-drop-cap{color:#69727d;border:3px solid;background-color:transparent}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap{margin-top:8px}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap-letter{width:1em;height:1em}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap{float:left;text-align:center;line-height:1;font-size:50px}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap-letter{display:inline-block}<\/style>\t\t\t\t<p><i>&#8220;Self-respect is a discipline, a habit of mind that can never be faked but can be developed, trained, coaxed forth. It was once suggested to me that, as an antidote to crying, I put my head in a paper bag. As it happens, there is a sound physiological reason, something to do with oxygen, for doing exactly that, but the psychological effect alone is incalculable: it is difficult in the extreme to continue fancying oneself Cathy in Wuthering Heights with one\u2019s head in a Food Fair bag. There is a similar case for all the small disciplines, unimportant in themselves; imagine maintaining any kind of swoon, commiserative or carnal, in a cold shower.&#8221; <\/i>&nbsp; <br><\/p><p>&#8211; Joan Didion, <i>Slouching Towards Bethlehem<\/i><br><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-2ed19f8 elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"2ed19f8\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-9472e07\" data-id=\"9472e07\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8c88f0e elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"8c88f0e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.19.0 - 07-02-2024 *\/\n.elementor-heading-title{padding:0;margin:0;line-height:1}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title[class*=elementor-size-]>a{color:inherit;font-size:inherit;line-height:inherit}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-small{font-size:15px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-medium{font-size:19px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-large{font-size:29px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-xl{font-size:39px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-xxl{font-size:59px}<\/style><h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">the agenda<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2b3e4a0 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"2b3e4a0\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><b>This discussion is not a how-to seminar. <\/b>There will be no grand postulations on how to love yourself, become a better you, raise yourself above the rabble, or conquer your tendencies to self-deprecate. (that said, if anyone knows of such seminars which actually work, please feel free to share) (unless you are being somehow financially sponsored by these endeavours, in which case sod off, this isn&#8217;t a marketing platform.)<br \/><br \/>More to the point, we\u2019ll be pondering a few questions: where does self-esteem come from? What are its influences (social media of course, but also how we interact with each other and how that affects us), what are the different elements in life that tend to reflect us back to ourselves, and play a role in what we do and how we see ourselves think friendship, romance, family, culture, work, religion, the Internet\u2026<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-1a26860 elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"1a26860\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-3b63123\" data-id=\"3b63123\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-561f214 elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"561f214\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.19.0 - 07-02-2024 *\/\n.elementor-widget-divider{--divider-border-style:none;--divider-border-width:1px;--divider-color:#0c0d0e;--divider-icon-size:20px;--divider-element-spacing:10px;--divider-pattern-height:24px;--divider-pattern-size:20px;--divider-pattern-url:none;--divider-pattern-repeat:repeat-x}.elementor-widget-divider .elementor-divider{display:flex}.elementor-widget-divider .elementor-divider__text{font-size:15px;line-height:1;max-width:95%}.elementor-widget-divider .elementor-divider__element{margin:0 var(--divider-element-spacing);flex-shrink:0}.elementor-widget-divider .elementor-icon{font-size:var(--divider-icon-size)}.elementor-widget-divider .elementor-divider-separator{display:flex;margin:0;direction:ltr}.elementor-widget-divider--view-line_icon .elementor-divider-separator,.elementor-widget-divider--view-line_text .elementor-divider-separator{align-items:center}.elementor-widget-divider--view-line_icon .elementor-divider-separator:after,.elementor-widget-divider--view-line_icon .elementor-divider-separator:before,.elementor-widget-divider--view-line_text .elementor-divider-separator:after,.elementor-widget-divider--view-line_text .elementor-divider-separator:before{display:block;content:\"\";border-block-end:0;flex-grow:1;border-block-start:var(--divider-border-width) var(--divider-border-style) var(--divider-color)}.elementor-widget-divider--element-align-left .elementor-divider .elementor-divider-separator>.elementor-divider__svg:first-of-type{flex-grow:0;flex-shrink:100}.elementor-widget-divider--element-align-left .elementor-divider-separator:before{content:none}.elementor-widget-divider--element-align-left .elementor-divider__element{margin-left:0}.elementor-widget-divider--element-align-right .elementor-divider .elementor-divider-separator>.elementor-divider__svg:last-of-type{flex-grow:0;flex-shrink:100}.elementor-widget-divider--element-align-right .elementor-divider-separator:after{content:none}.elementor-widget-divider--element-align-right .elementor-divider__element{margin-right:0}.elementor-widget-divider--element-align-start .elementor-divider .elementor-divider-separator>.elementor-divider__svg:first-of-type{flex-grow:0;flex-shrink:100}.elementor-widget-divider--element-align-start .elementor-divider-separator:before{content:none}.elementor-widget-divider--element-align-start .elementor-divider__element{margin-inline-start:0}.elementor-widget-divider--element-align-end .elementor-divider 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.elementor-divider-separator:before,.elementor-widget-divider--separator-type-pattern:not([class*=elementor-widget-divider--view]) .elementor-divider-separator{width:100%;min-height:var(--divider-pattern-height);-webkit-mask-size:var(--divider-pattern-size) 100%;mask-size:var(--divider-pattern-size) 100%;-webkit-mask-repeat:var(--divider-pattern-repeat);mask-repeat:var(--divider-pattern-repeat);background-color:var(--divider-color);-webkit-mask-image:var(--divider-pattern-url);mask-image:var(--divider-pattern-url)}.elementor-widget-divider--no-spacing{--divider-pattern-size:auto}.elementor-widget-divider--bg-round{--divider-pattern-repeat:round}.rtl .elementor-widget-divider .elementor-divider__text{direction:rtl}.e-con-inner>.elementor-widget-divider,.e-con>.elementor-widget-divider{width:var(--container-widget-width,100%);--flex-grow:var(--container-widget-flex-grow)}<\/style>\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-9d5e494 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"9d5e494\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">recommended reading, listening, and other cultural output <\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3f48ccf elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"3f48ccf\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>(please consider supporting independent bookshops instead of buying books on amazon, write to me if you need a list of them!)<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4959b75 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"4959b75\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<ul><li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.medimops.de\/alain-de-botton-status-anxiety-taschenbuch-M00141014865.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" class=\"broken_link\">Status Anxiety<\/a> | Alain de Botton (book)<\/li><li><i>Essays<\/i> | Michel de Montaigne (book)<\/li><li>(and specifically) <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=eoLd91HrC_w\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Montaigne&#8217;s thoughts on self esteem <\/a>(video)<\/li><li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=_gVyEOefhIQ\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Socrates on self-confidence<\/a> | from Alain de Botton&#8217;s series <i>Philosophy: a Guide to Happiness<\/i> (video)<\/li><li><i>This column will change your life<\/i> | (column in <i>The Guardian<\/i> by Oliver Burkeman) | and more specifically &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/lifeandstyle\/2013\/sep\/14\/change-your-life-whole-self\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Stop rating your whole self<\/a>&#8221; (articles)<\/li><li>Also: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.medimops.de\/oliver-burkeman-the-antidote-happiness-for-people-who-can-t-stand-positive-thinking-taschenbuch-M01847678661.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" class=\"broken_link\">The Antidote: Happiness for people who can&#8217;t stand positive thinking<\/a> | Oliver Burkeman (book)<br \/><br \/><\/li><li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.themarginalian.org\/2012\/05\/21\/joan-didion-on-self-respect\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Joan Didion on self-respect<\/a> (marginalian article)<\/li><li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.chronicle.com\/article\/faux-friendship\/\" class=\"broken_link\">Faux Friendship <\/a>| William Deresiewicz (article)<\/li><li><i>Reinvention<\/i> | Arlene Dickinson (book)<\/li><li><i>How to be Alone<\/i> | Jonathan Franzen (book)<\/li><li><i>Letters to a Young Poet<\/i> | Rainer Maria Rilke (book)<\/li><li><i>Shame and the Origins of Self Esteem<\/i> (a Jungian approach) | Mario Jacoby (book)<\/li><\/ul>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6f5ba35 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"6f5ba35\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<ul><li><i>Ich und Du <\/i>| Martin Buber<i> <\/i>(book)<i><br \/><\/i><\/li><li><i>All Quiet on the Orient Express <\/i>| Magmus Mills<i> <\/i><i><\/i>(book)<\/li><li><i>The Red Book <\/i>| Carl Jung <i><\/i>(book)<\/li><li><i>God is an Astronaut<\/i> | Alyson Foster <i><\/i>(book)<i><\/i><\/li><li><i>The God Delusion<\/i> | Richard Dawkins<i> <\/i><i><\/i>(book)<\/li><li><i>Outgrowing God: a beginners&#8217; guide <\/i>| Richard Dawkins <i><\/i>(book)<i><\/i><\/li><li><i>Poetics<\/i> | Aristoteles on why we read (book)<\/li><li><i>Epigenetik: Br\u00fccke zwischen Erbut und Umwelt<\/i> (English edition: <i>Epigenetics: Bridge between genome and environment) <\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.jajaverlag.com\/epigenetik-und-epigenetics\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" class=\"broken_link\">(graphic novel)<\/a><\/li><li><i>Flow: the Psychology of Optimal Experience<\/i> | Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi <i><\/i>(book)<\/li><li><i>The Evolving Self: a Psychology for the Third Millenium<\/i> | Mihaly Csikszentrmihalyi (book)<\/li><li><i>Kriegsenkel \/ Die Vergessene Generation <\/i>| Sabine Bode (books on the experience of trauma by Germans during WWI and WWII, and how this trauma has passed on to their children)<\/li><li>Midjourney <a href=\"https:\/\/midjourney.gitbook.io\/docs\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">(computer-generated cultural creation)<\/a><\/li><li>Cambrian Explosion <a href=\"http:\/\/www.cambrianexplosion.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">(algorithmic cultural creation)<\/a><\/li><li>Dalli 2\u00a0 <a href=\"https:\/\/openai.com\/dall-e-2\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" class=\"broken_link\">(open AI cultural creation)<\/a><\/li><li>Hidden Brain: Relationsships 2.0 | the power of interactions <a href=\"https:\/\/hiddenbrain.org\/podcast\/relationships-2-0-the-power-of-tiny-interactions\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">(podcast on the subject of talking to strangers)<\/a><\/li><\/ul>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-f56c5cf elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"f56c5cf\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><i>COMPLETELY UNRELATED BUT MENTIONED IN LAST NIGHT&#8217;S DISCUSSION: A few people mentioned they might want to beta-read my graphic novel re: online dating.&nbsp; I won&#8217;t post it here but get in touch if you want and I&#8217;ll send you a PDF of it. Would be very chuffed at any beta-readers and feedback people might want to give&#8230;<br><\/i><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-3cea156 elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"3cea156\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-e3f4b05\" data-id=\"e3f4b05\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7e82182 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"7e82182\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">collected thoughts and tidbits from the evening's discussion (both related and random)...<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-37338a7 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"37338a7\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><b>potential definitions of self-esteem:<\/b><\/p><ul><li>determination of individual values<\/li><li>belief in abilities |confidence in the result of an activity: \u201c i can do\u201d<\/li><li>conscious\/unconscious beliefs about yourself<\/li><li>when the challenge meets the skills<\/li><\/ul><p><b>self-esteem as opposed to value: <\/b><\/p><ul><li>value is not the same as confidence, in that value is permanent<\/li><li>self-esteem and context (is self-esteem context-dependent?)<\/li><\/ul><p><b>self-esteem in life vs. self-esteem in job (the latter does not presuppose the former)<\/b><\/p><ul><li>fundamental self-esteem vs. confidence due to a specific skill<\/li><li>assuming skill in one area counts for everything in life<\/li><li>the \u2018fake it \u2019til you make it\u2019 phenomena<\/li><li>would we have self-esteem if we were alone on the Earth?<\/li><li>self-esteem is good for socialising<\/li><\/ul><p><b>self-esteem vs. doubt<\/b><\/p><ul><li>fear of rejection is connected to self-esteem<\/li><li>are doubt and self-esteem related?<\/li><li>doubt- leads to innovation &#8211; opens you up to self-reflection<\/li><li>doubt opens up to questioning (therefore not that bad)<\/li><li>doubt is healthy UNLESS IT INHIBITS action<\/li><li>doubt\/ bad self-esteem can also be \u201cgood\u201d for society (that is, for the people in power in a society &#8211; those with bad self-esteem are easily manipulated)<\/li><\/ul><p><b>not directly related to self-esteem but a fascinating notion nonetheless \ud83d\ude42 <\/b><\/p><ul><li>I and you =\u00a0 an encounter<\/li><li>I and it = an experience (digital \u2018encounters\u2019 with people fall into THIS category)<\/li><\/ul><div><p><b>JOAN DIDION ON SELF RESPECT <\/b><\/p><ul><li>To have that sense of one\u2019s intrinsic worth which constitutes self-respect is potentially to have everything: the ability to discriminate, to love and to remain indifferent.<\/li><li>To do without self-respect, on the other hand, is to be an unwilling audience of one to an interminable documentary that deals with one\u2019s failings, both real and imagined, with fresh footage spliced in for every screening.<\/li><\/ul><p><b>PRESSURES TO CONFORM<\/b><\/p><ul><li>reasons we follow passively (instead of trusting ourselves) in democracy &#8211; the majority tends to have \u2018right\u2019 on their side. Except do they?<\/li><li>why we tend to appease the boss &#8211; because s\/he pays your rent<\/li><li>people decide what is normal and what is abnormal and persecute those that don\u2019t fit.<\/li><\/ul><p><b>SOCRATES&#8217; LOGIC ON TRUTH (might be helpful for us in understanding and evaluating our own selves)<\/b><\/p><ul><li>look around for statements that make common sense<\/li><li>try to find an exception in this statement<\/li><li>if an exception is found, then your statement is false or imprecise<\/li><li>nuance the original statement so it\u2019s more accurate<\/li><li>try to find exceptions until you can\u2019t any more<\/li><li>TO WIT: the truth lies in statements that are impossible to disprove<\/li><\/ul><p><b>MONTAIGNE ON SELF-ESTEEM<\/b><\/p><ul><li>3 main areas of inadequacy<\/li><li>bodily inadequacy<\/li><li>the inadequacy of being judged and disapproved of<\/li><li>intellectual inadequacy<\/li><\/ul><p><i><b>(according to Montaigne having a mind is not helpful because:)<\/b><\/i><\/p><ul><li>it makes for awkward relations with our bodies &#8211; we process outer stimulii with our minds that don\u2019t jive with our bodies.<\/li><li>having brains leads us to feel arrogant and to want to impose our views on others<\/li><li>intellectual &#8211; the painful sense that we aren\u2019t as clever as we should be.<\/li><li>Trying to think of yourself as a good person \u2013 or encouraging children to think that way \u2013 dramatically raises the stakes of every action taken, as each one gets taken as evidence for or against that belief.<\/li><\/ul><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-9b0b8b4 elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"9b0b8b4\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-17ed7a9 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"17ed7a9\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-b25b72b\" data-id=\"b25b72b\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-685103e elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"685103e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">continuing the conversation...<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Self-respect is a discipline, a habit of mind that can never be faked but can be developed, trained, coaxed forth. It was once suggested to me that, as an antidote to crying, I put my head in a paper bag. As it happens, there is a sound physiological reason, something to do with oxygen, for [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"elementor_header_footer","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"post_folder":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.steflenk.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3694"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.steflenk.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.steflenk.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.steflenk.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.steflenk.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3694"}],"version-history":[{"count":103,"href":"https:\/\/www.steflenk.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3694\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4005,"href":"https:\/\/www.steflenk.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3694\/revisions\/4005"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.steflenk.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3694"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.steflenk.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3694"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.steflenk.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3694"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.steflenk.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=3694"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}